Why do some people bully?
A common reason why someone becomes a bully is because they lack attention from a parent at home and lash out at others for attention. This can include neglected children, children of divorced parents or children with parents under the regular influence of drugs or alcohol. Very often, parents are bullies or don't handle conflict well. Many times kids bully because they learn this behavior at home. This learned behavior can be unlearned..
Older siblings can also be the cause of the problem. If they've been bullied, they are more apt to bully a younger sibling to feel more secure or empower themselves. We also cannot rule out the fact that an adult role model might be a bully. This can include parents, teachers, coaches, or some other adult in a student's life.
Bullies dominate, hurt and use others. They see weaker kids as their target and don't accept the consequences of their actions. They crave power and attention.
- bullies who have been bullied get relief from feeling helpless by overpowering others
- social bullies have poor self-esteem and manipulate others through gossip and name calling
- detached bullies plan their attacks and seem likeable to everyone but their victims
- hyperactive bullies don't understand how to socialize and act inappropriately-sometimes physically
Most bullies don't understand how wrong their behavior is and how it makes the person being bullied feel. No matter what kind of bully someone is, they have not learned kindness, compassion and respect.
Has someone called you a bully?
Think about what you are doing.
- If someone did the same thing to you, would you be hurt?
- Remember that making others feel bad is wrong.
- Know that everyone is different, but being different does not mean better or worse.
- Try getting to know others who are not like you. You may find out you are more alike than you think.
- Talk to an adult you trust. They may have good ideas about what you can do to stop the bullying.
It's possible you didn't even realize you were bullying anyone. If you are part of a group that participates in these activities you are still allowing bullying to happen. Remember, bullying causes people pain and it can affect their ability to do well in school as well as their general happiness.